The Surprising Way Fear May Be Holding You Back and How to Deal With it
One of the most common reasons most people don’t take (or stop taking) action on their dreams is fear. Fear can be found in the thoughts we think. Here are just a few examples of thoughts that are rooted in fear:
- I’m not good enough/talented enough.
- I’ll look like a fool if I do this and get it wrong.
- Other people will laugh at me.
- I’m going to lose money if I do this.
- I’m too old/young for people to take me seriously.
No matter how your fear shows up, I’m here to tell you this: It doesn’t matter who you are, and it doesn’t matter how much you’ve accomplished. Everyone, even (and especially) those who are successful, experiences fear.
Imagine that you and I are standing shoulder to shoulder. There’s a river in front of us, filled with crocodiles.
The crocodiles are thrashing about, their tails are flinging the water back and forth, and on the other side of this river is a house. And I tell you,
“There’s a $10 bill on the kitchen table in that house and it can be yours if you’re willing to cross this river infested with crocodiles.”
Would you be willing to cross the river? Chances are you wouldn’t because the reward isn’t great enough. $10 just isn’t worth it.
Now, what if I told you that the person you love the most in this world is in that house, they’re tied to a bed, and there’s a fire that’s been started on the other side of that house, and if you can get across this river you can save that person and untie them and save their life? Would you be willing to attempt to cross that river full of crocodiles?
Would you give it everything you had to get to the person that you love most?
You most likely would – because they matter to you.
Dealing With Fear En Route to Success
Here three powerful techniques for dealing with fear so you can take action steps toward what matters to you.
1. Care more about other people than you do about yourself.
Whether your dream is to write a book, speak on stage or become a certified coach, the secret to overcoming your fear is to care more about serving others than about what the step will cost you. In other words, care more about what others will receive as a result.
For example, if your dream is to become a professional public speaker, focus more on what your message will do for the person in the audience than about what you might look like if you stumble, trip, fall or mess up. Care more about the results you can deliver rather than you’ll receive.
When you take the focus off of yourself and instead focus on serving others, your fear won’t immediately vanish; however, you’ll eventually connect to an entirely new level of desire and power that will override your fear, because what will matter to you will be more important than the cost.
So if you’re feeling scared, you’re in good company! There’s no magic pill or magic wand that successful people have that you don’t. Remember, Mary Morrissey, Bob Proctor and anyone else who’s ever accomplished anything great have all felt fear while taking action steps.
The simple truth is that there was a bigger reason that Bob and Mary felt compelled to keep going. When you find a bigger reason for yourself, you’ll be willing to go further than you ever thought possible, too.
2. Think about serving just one person.
Imagine one person who could really use your insight or guidance.
I personally always think about a woman I met at an event years ago. She had been raised in an environment in which she was told she was worthless. Over and over again, she was told that she was no good and wouldn’t amount to anything.
Shortly after I met her, she attended another event at which I was speaking. She was a single mom who was working her tail off to put food on the table for her and her son. She heard me speak and afterwards, came up to tell me that it was the first time she learned that she could actually choose what she wanted to think about.
She realized she didn’t have to believe that she was no good or that she was worthless. She could actually decide that she was worth something, that her dreams DID matter and that she had what it was going to take to accomplish her dreams. That event completely changed her life and she began to love herself again.
Here’s what I realized: If I had been too scared to show up that day, that woman wouldn’t have received that message that day. So, here’s my question for you: Who is the one person in your audience you want to serve? Are you willing to push through your fear and show up for them?
3. Find your own compelling reason.
When it comes to taking action on what matters to you, think about the crocodile analogy above. For example, you can choose to think that delivering a speech, selling over the phone or writing a book is scary.
Or, you can choose to take the focus off of yourself and the risk, and instead focus on who or what you’re doing it for. When you have a reason that’s compelling enough, you’ll be willing to face your fear.
The desire and motivation for what you want will start to make the fear feel small in comparison, and you will have the fuel to move yourself forward and start taking steps in the direction of your dreams.
The truth is that you were built to create something beautiful in this world. You were endowed with gifts that only you have. No one else has the gifts you have. However, using these gifts will require you to step through the fear.
This is why it’s so important to connect to what matters most to you. Connect to what you would love because that becomes the desire to help move you across that river full of crocodiles, so to speak.
So what’s one action step that scares you that you know would move you closer to your dream? Go ahead and share your thoughts with me in the comments section below 👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼
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