When you encounter clients with a victim mentality, here are some steps you can take to help them regain control of their lives and get unstuck
In the Life Coaching process, one thing your clients get to learn is that they’re capable of shaping their destinies.
Some of the people who approach you will already understand this, but others don’t fully realize the degree to which they create their own reality. They choose to be victims instead of feeling empowered to change their circumstances.
When you encounter clients like these, here are some steps you can take to help them regain control of their lives and get unstuck.
1. Determine what they’re supposedly being held back from.
What is your client trying to get, that they believe the other person is keeping them from having? And more importantly, what do they REALLY want?
For example, if a male client is trying to get a girlfriend, but he can’t because “women don’t date nice guys,”` ask him what he’ll get if he gets a girlfriend. He may answer that he’ll get love. If you ask him what he’ll get if he has love, he might answer that he’ll feel worthy or desirable. Keep asking “and if you get that, what will you get because of that?” until you get to the core of his true desire. In most cases, what a person thinks they want is actually just the strategy that they believe will give them the thing they really need.
2. Find out what actions they’re avoiding, and whether the actions they do take are serving them.
In the above example, the man might not be approaching women, because he’s trying to be nice and give them a break, or he thinks he’ll be rejected, so he doesn’t even try.
Or he might be taking action, but in a subconscious effort to protect himself from blame, he’ll pick actions whose outcomes he could attribute to something else. For example, he’ll only approach women who are attached, busy, or otherwise unlikely to be willing to engage with him, so when they reject him, he’ll be able to blame it on the circumstances rather than himself.
3. Determine what they can do to give themselves what they truly want
Before your client can attract a woman who loves him, he may need to learn how to love himself. He might need to build his own sense of self-worth before a woman will see him as being worthy.
Help your client to see the ways in which they can reclaim their power and fulfill their own needs, rather than waiting for others to do it for them.
4. Help them adjust their strategy
Once you’ve determined what your client truly wants, how they can give it to themselves, and which strategies are being neglected or are working against them, help them to find a more constructive course of action. For instance, you could help your client determine which women are more likely to be receptive to him, so he can stop beating his head against a wall of uninterested ladies, and you can show him how to approach them in ways that will get a better response.
You CAN help your clients get bigger results, in less time – even if they think it’s impossible
If you’re serious about serving your clients, and you want to get a powerful tool in your tool-belt that helps you give more people larger transformations in less time, I invite you to scroll up and fill out the form on the right.
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